My Birthday Weekend

:)

I will be 53 on Monday.
I wish I could remember what time I was born.
I asked Coz once, and I think she told me noon.
but short term memory loss has hindered me for the past few years.

I am a Taurus.

Bullheaded
True
Faithful
A creature of habit
A lover of the sensual side of life

Yesterday, I went to the beach.

well,
yesterday we went to the beach

with a cooler
beer
water
cigarettes
ice

I had a rayon halter dress on

I went swimming in it. 

I made quite an impression on little old Fort Pierce yesterday

 and He made quite an impression on me...

1 very happy C

Tonight, he's absent

Up north on business
that won't be completed until next week

He was going to stay until then
and come back home
to me


but, He's coming back tomorrow
and taking me with him next week

to introduce me to his family and friends

He's embarrassed when they tell him he is in love

He said it's a guy thing.

Is that true?

Is it embarrassing to say out loud that you are in love with someone?

cheese and rice, I tell it to the clerks in the store
:)

He told me that he can't stay up there without me,
so
I will go.

He's sweet and tender
and honest and true

but he is not without his beautiful sadistic streak.

lucky me

so, tonight I will sleep hardly
fitfully
waiting

for him

and next week I will go with him
because
he doesn't like it when I am not at his side
between heartbeats
and legs
and sleeping breaths


the soft comfortable breaths

of being together

A Dominant male that wanted to be fucked in the ass

So, I have this friend who was a pro Domme.
For several years in Philly, she beat and humiliated men for money
and
She did very well.
She raised her children and put them through school, She bought a house and turned it into a lucrative business
She was independent and free and wealthy

So
Some Colonel comes along
wants to be fucked in the ass
wants an enema

...

wants to take her for dinner

18 months later, She accepts

It's a whirlwind

He loves her
He needs her in his life or he can't live
He wants her all to himself
Stop doing what you do and come live with me
Marry me
Do what you do
only to me


Tonight, he walked out
telling her he hated everything about her

:)

They were married for 6 whole years.

She gave up everything and moved to Florida?

She was fucking swindled
manipulated
tossed to the side?

If any of you knew her, you would know she was exceptionally adept at a mind fuck,
but

she caved

She became not herself
and adapted

Maybe it's because she thought that was what she needed.

I need to go and hit something
How could this woman be devastated by simple words?

oh

wait

I remember why

She is no stronger than I
but she was independent.

Why is it

If it is even so

that an old retired military man
can still make a woman feel like shit
even though he wants Her to fuck him in the ass

2 Forks

The difference between 2 forks and 1 fork is love

to me, anyway

Waking up in the morning and seeing the remains of a truly excellent meal
cooked by me
thank you very much

on the countertop

with 2 plates
2 forks
2 napkins

Someone special was here

special enough to have been invited to dinner
cooked by me

so
He eats here now
every night

:)

I don't know how long it's been since I have wanted to cook for somebody

oh, wait

Yes I do know how long it's been...

But what I don't remember is how long it's been since I wanted to cook for somone every night.
...

oh, wait.
I do remember

Is it possible that I just wanted someone to cook for?
Is it possible that I just need someone to cook for?

For it has been said that

Food is Love

(at least by me)

but
reader,
it is more than my need here.

much more

For it is the quintessential need to give something that I have
to someone that I love

to give something tangible
something that has no price put upon it

so

2 forks on my countertop
is truly wonderful

a very happy c

waiting

for the door to the room to open
waiting for him to say

come here

Now

I'm anxious and slightly nervous and excited beyond belief
It's slightly more difficult to breathe
but I wait

I hear his voice call my name
Christine
Come here

My knees are shaking
my heart is racing
my breath comes in a short, shallow intake
of air
so slight
not noticeable
to anyone but me

I am becoming more attentive and accepting
more in tune with his body and his ways

I am allowing myself to trust him further

When we are in the room,
I can let go and
finally
I do
let go

He holds my orgasm in his hands
and He knows it
and He knows how to use it against me

until

I

can
not
hold back

for another minute

He makes me cum

at His will

I think he's wonderful

And I know he loves me

a very happy c

tonight I was thinking about how different my life would have been if I had left earlier

earlier than I did

Would my daughters have been the same?
Would they have grown to be independent and strong as they are today?

Would I?

Is it true that my every decision in life has led me here
to this place
this man
this breath of springtime in February because I am in Florida?
in these arms?

Suppose I had taken a different turn and followed my career
Suppose I had never moved to Fort Rucker
in the first place
in the very first place

Would I be here?
at this house
in this town
in these arms
in this spot?

Gosh, how different it could have turned out.
How different I would be
if I had taken
one
tiny
step
and gone right
instead of left

On My Floor

As he lays sleeping here
another night of talking and agreeing and
disagreeing

we still are together

he mumbles under his breath that he loves me
while I say it out loud

He says I ruined him
from self destructing

lol

I say the same

He looks into my eyes when we speak about the world
about the same day crap
about the past
blech

I still doubt
oh, yes I do
because it is the nature of people to need what they want

and, I am guilty of that as well

but, with him I have not been able to hide anything

he makes me babble

god damn it

I tell him everything and I can not make him run

I can not make him turn around and leave

He knows my game and why I try

tonight, he told me
he loves me
because I am pure

because I want nothing from him but love

Imagine that
?
a man that I don't have to share.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I smile as I write this
because I am truly in
Very like

and I love being here